The following question was recently posted in the Comments section.
“I often hear berserkers saying they’ve blacked out during gangrs. That’s only happened to me a couple times for very brief periods. What’s more common for me is, in my gangr state, I’m aware of what’s happening and able to remember a some things, but it’s like I’m watching from the outside, almost out of body but that’s not quite the right way to explain. It’s like my mind is a passive obsever who is in no way controlling what the Beast is doing. And my memory of the event will be spotty. But I seldom have actual amnesia, just a loss of control and cant remember certain details after. Is that common?”
This is a matter of both luck and experience. Most berserkers start with complete blackouts and amnesia every time they berserk. With experience, foggy memories start to appear, and the kind of dissociated awareness that is described here. With even more experience, complete awareness and memory are retained.
Some few are just lucky enough to always be aware. That is rather rarer than what I described above, though.
This is all because the berserker state of mind is radically different than the normal human one. Its awareness is very different. The way it lays down memories and accesses them is different. The human mind has to become familiar enough with these differences for it to be able to access those memories, or latch onto the Beast’s awareness.
I have published a new book about somafera. One thing I have noticed over the years I have been involved in the somafera community is that a lot of people do not process information well in the rather academic way I went about it in the previous book. Instead, they tend to understand things better when presented with examples. So I wrote a memoir, a narrative of my own story as a somaferan. I included, in brief, the stories of several others. It’s a short booklet, a little more than eighty pages, but I believe I included the important things. I go over what childhood can be like for a berserker, and how to gain control. I discuss the unique problems of a somaferan nature, and show some ways they can be dealt with. It can be purchased here.
(The title comes from something they always used to write on my report cards when I was a kid.)
Today’s post is promoted from the comments section, because it raises a good point. The comment was
“According to the internal martial arts, they say that when you focus your attention on a bodypart, qi will go there, but the qi is followed by the blood, and blood is followed by strength. When I concentrate on a bodypart, I notice that part will get a little warmer and I feel some kind of pressure and pins and needles. Is this something that berserkers will use to elevate their wod/qi by concentrating on their whole body?”
That is a very good exercise, yes. Concentrate on the whole body, or concentrate this on your hara, in the middle of your body a couple inches below your navel, and once you build it up there, start circulating it. In time, you will learn to raise such high levels of wod that the full elevation becomes possible.