Today’s post is a request from a fellow somaferan, on the topic of social interactions and somaferans. Asking me to give advice about social interactions is rather like asking Stephen Hawking for tips on how to play football, but I will share what I understand about this topic.
We are not good at it, in general, for a number of reasons. One is that we tend to get easily enthusiastic, and easily impatient, with things. Other people do not share our enthusiasms, or understand why we suddenly lose patience with things. Because of this, somaferan social interactions with other people go kind of like playing with musicians who are reading different sheet music.
Another reason is that we have a tendency to wear our hearts on our sleeves. Most people are used to concealing at least some part of their real feelings, and expect others to do the same. This often leads to misunderstandings. And to people taking advantage of you, when they realize they have the key to your heart.
Then there is the often regrettable tendency we somaferans have to be honest. Bluntly so. Rudely so, by most non-somaferans’ standards. Many somaferans tend to lack understanding of and patience for the little social graces, and also tend to lack any sort of filter between impulse and mouth. This does not make us popular.
There isn’t a lot of advice I can give for making social interactions for our kind any easier. I am extremely antisocial. I generally try to avoid social interactions, which solves these problems for me rather nicely. That is not always possible, though, and of course many somaferans are rather social creatures, despite being so bad at it. I would advise being very selective in who you associate with. If somebody is not willing to do the work and have the patience necessary to understand you, and to hear things the way you meant them rather than the way most people take them, then that person is not worth the effort involved in dealing with them.
Another thing I could advise is creating a social interaction persona. Create a character in your head, perhaps even with his or her own name. Give them the characteristics you think are needed for successful social interaction. Spend some time thinking about this persona. Then, when you need to, be it. A somaferan is used to being multiple people, it should not be difficult to become “possessed,” as it were, by the character you created. This can make things much smoother, though it gets exhausting after awhile.
With regards to Red Green, Good luck. I’m pulling for you. We’re all in this together.